before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
