Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
