didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
