she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
