Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I intend to get homeless drunk
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
