so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize