No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Life is so much better after having sex.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
send nudes
from the living room?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
