theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
