Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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