Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
