so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
