I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
