She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
