you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
