I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
