I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
