I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
