I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
