I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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