Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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