i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
