i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
