with your own penis?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize