i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
