There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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