garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
