Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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