I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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