SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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