Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize