I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
