Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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