Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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