I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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