Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
