We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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