his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
