Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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