After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
