Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
