operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
