In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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