I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
