think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
