so that wasnt chicken after all
I think I am morally bankrupt
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
