I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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