dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
