how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
