U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
