I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
