their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
