so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
