I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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