hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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