If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
