you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
