Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you didnt know i had herpes?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
