evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
