I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
