You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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