My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
