her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
as a side note pls kill me
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