Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You pole danced in your parka.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize