Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
