so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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