nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
