whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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